Sad, sad, sad, sad.

“Tears of a Clown” by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

This has been one of my favorite songs since I was a child.  My dad used to play this song a lot and it has really stuck with me throughout the years.  I went through a period where I would listen to this over and over again on repeat, never tiring of it.  Yes, this song is far before my time, but something my father actually did right and really exposed me to was a love of music and creativity, especially the classics from the 60's and 70's.  A great deal of my favorite music comes from these times.

It’s not all good/pleasant memories and if you knew my relationship with my father, you would understand why.  We are not close, it’s a long, complex story and I’m not going to retell it here.  

This song sounds happy and cheerful on the exterior but it’s actually pretty depressing.  It’s so personal to me and it’s painful to listen to in a lot of ways, yet I honestly enjoy the experience and bittersweet memories.   I’ve always been a huge sucker for nostalgia and an admitted masochist (at least mentally.)  I like as well as hate taking myself back to that place, back to those thoughts, and reflecting on all that has changed as I’ve made the transition to “adulthood”, whatever that may be.