I kind of prefer to keep my personal thoughts private now and my feelings on journaling have changed a lot. I won't use the word "blog" because I find that term really annoying and embarrassing ;}. Anyways, I've been through a lot in those number of years and am not quite the same person I once was. It's hard to go back to something that was pretty much all pain-based and negative and try to change it into something fresh and new. I'm also more paranoid now about people knowing my personal thoughts and struggles-I guess that's probably just a part of growing up and maturing. I don't want fellow coworkers, etc, finding out information about me. I've had nosy (insane) coworkers in the past, so I know they will dig into your personal business if they want to bad enough. Ugh.
Maybe I'll share a little eventually, but for now, I quite enjoy being an observer. I'll write again when I am ready.
In the meantime, here's a little something I wrote this past summer. It's nothing special or wordy, just how I feel much of the time-kind of shocked that life moves so fast and that I'm really an adult in this world. I am a shy introvert by nature and change tends to scare me more than anything. I'm getting better and more confident but a part of me is always worrying, always wanting to hide.
Who needs their dreams, organization and stylish interior decorating?
A coffee table of bankers boxes, a pipe, some Halloween stickers
Adulthood is just like childhood, you don't really change
Save for some twisted experiences and physical changes-
Blonde becomes black, the Aryan wonder baby
becomes a dark, handsome gypsy
It happens,
I no longer am surprised.
I've seen it all, right? Lived it all.
You are what you've always been.
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